Sweet Home Alabama. NOT.

Our Ancestral Deep South, TODAY - Privacy laws prevent me from divulging the precise nature of the news but be assured that it was very good indeed for Chris (pictured above at the very moment his much-hoped-for new reality was sinking in).  Given his walking papers (so to speak), he immediately ran back to his rental car, sped back to the airport, and flew back home, promising himself that he will never again set foot on Confederate soil (even though he has two great-grandfathers who fought for the Southern Cause in the Civil War and should therefore have been treated as an Honored Northern Guest, NOT a Damn Yankee).

Congratulations, Chris, on beating what was a ridiculous, trumped up rap in the first place and extricating yourself from the clutches of an antiquated system run by guys with names like Gomer, Goober, Barney, and Billy Bob....  Well done.